Happy Thanksgiving

I've really dropped the blog thing. I think it's because of farmville on facebook. I don't think anyone is too heartbroken since I have one follower (hello Ginnymarie) but as you said yourself blogging helps you feel better so let me have a go.

Let me answer the question why farmville is better than blogging (at least to me). In farmville I get to live out my farming fantasies. I didn't even know I had a strong desire to farm, but I would get invites for a variety of these networking games - sorority life, mafia, yoville (I tried yoville but it takes too long to download on my computer) but none of them spoke to me. I saw people with farm stuff on their posts and was curious, so when I go the invite I tried it and was hooked. I have pigs, cows, sheep, ducks, rabbits - I plant and harvest a variety of things - I have an orchard. It would be fun to try in real life but that is not something to take lightly. The yard keeps me busy enough.

The chronicles of the lawn

At the end of June I was hoping by this time to be down to less than once a week with mowing. Hasn't happened - we had some dry weather in July but it's been a pleasantly wet August so have been mowing once a week - should mow tonight but have Bible study, yesterday was wet, Monday was sick. It's getting away from me this week. Hopefully will not rain tomorrow so I can get at it.

Have not had complete victory over the flower beds either. Only one section really looks bad but I don't think any of it is weed free. What should happen is have a clean sweep of it in the spring, and then only have to do it 6 weeks later, and then once more. My mom has not been weeding this summer as she has been in previous years. I don't know if this is a fluke or if this is the energy level we can expect from her in the future. It is definitely an adjustment as your parents get older. Life changes - glad to know God doesn't.

I have the threat of a layoff hanging over my head. Nothing is definite, but I figure in a month I should know something definitely. After the initial shock, I'm now getting used to the idea, and I am actually looking forward to it. I could take more classes, trips, work on the yard - my health insurance would fly out the window, which would not be good. Plus, I know two folks with stable jobs who recently got laid off - where would I get another job? But I think I would welcome the challenge.

movie review

It's been forever - who knows if anyone is reading. But here is the latest movie I saw-

Bella-

It focuses on a young man whose soccer career was ended by an unfortunate accident ( I won't divulge too many details). He now works as a chef in his brother's Mexican restaurant. His brother is a bit of a dictator and fires a waitress for being late for the second time. The young man has a big heart and goes off to make sure she is okay. This leads to...an interesting day.

Family, forgiveness, redemption, and choosing for life are the major themes of the movie - it made me cry. I loved it!

the lawn

June is almost over with and the lawn is finally starting to slow down. This week I let it go for a whole week and I was able to mow it comfortably. So we're probably down to once a week for a while - if it is really dry in August maybe less than that.

Right now the daunting task is the weeding. We have a lot of beds and right now the weeds are taking over half of them. The nephews are supposed to come out this week to help grandma. They will get paid. I don't know if we would have gotten paid to help our grandparents or not. It definitely would not have been my parents' idea to pay us. The philosophy was if it is family, especially those who are elderly, then you help - that's what it means to be in a family. End of story. It would had to of come from the bottom of the grandparents' hearts, which could have been possible. Don't know, didn't know them.

Having the help last year has kept nature at bay this year - we have a branch high up that needs to come down, some that need trimmed, but so far so good. We will probably get by this summer, but will need the help next summer. My attitude is it will be interesting to see how the Lord will provide.

Ladysmith Black Mambazo

Have you heard them? I discovered them along with the rest of the world when they did back-up for Paul Simon on Graceland. Now, U2 can be inspiring, tugging at you to take a stand. LBM is uplifting. They reach a level I don't think Bono is familiar with.

I visit my blog and the Pretender's Message of Love comes on. This is a good song and I just recently discovered it, about a year ago. I've always liked the Pretenders - it's a extra bonus they're from Akron!! Why this song doesn't make the playlists like some of the others, I don't know.

Not much

This is to let you know I'm working on a paper - I'll get back to the blogging thing after Monday.

working for a living

I think I'll record my work day-

I tried to get here pre 8:45 as I had to take minutes at a meeting at 9 and didn't want to be too rushed. Didn't work, got here at 8:47, early enough to get an extra 15 min for lunch. Proceeded to meeting with proper equipment and handouts. No one needed the extra handouts - everyone remembered to bring their agendas (small miracle). Also had 1 no show who said he was coming - typical. This is a fairly big deal as it's a mayoral meeting. Had no new loan applicants to review but the meeting took 2 hrs 15 min anyway - those folks like to talk. Done with meeting, work piles up while I'm gone. I say to my co-worker so diplomatically "I didn't put it on my calendar - did you remember I'm taking an hour lunch?" She nods. About 10 min later she asks me, "so, you're taking an hour lunch today, right?" yes. She only asked once - we usually go through this 3-4 times in one morning. Sigh. Meet friend for lunch at fairly swanky downtown restaurant, but she has to go home and pack and drive to airport this aft. so all I'm thinking is "eat, you fool, and get your butt on the road." So conversation was not great. My task-oriented mind. I get back from lunch for a discussion with co-workers on what did you have, was it good, do you like to go there, etc. etc. Sunny nice day so leisurely work on paperwork this aft. A boss comes out and asks "how many drug tests did you schedule?" due to lack of communication one organization thinks they are getting 300 kids from us and they are only getting 64. Person in charge is out of office until Tuesday. Some scrabling goes on, but I am a lowly admin clerk so there is only so much I can do, or need to do :)

And now it is 5 pm.

Oh dear it's been a while.

I've been on Facebook now for a month or two - since then I've seen 3 old friends. Someone told the story that their daughter asked "how did you make friends before the internet?" I thought that was pretty funny. You did it face to face -real life.

I haven't decided how much I enjoy facebook - is it just distracting me? Is it adding to my life? Should I write to all my friend? Sometimes I get wrapped up in how many friends I have and is that respectable.

But it's improved my real life social life. Go figure.

Dad

When the weather gets warmer I wear a corduroy blue pea coat that falls right about where a suit coat would. I caught a glimpse of myself in a store window and I thought "it looks like my dad" - skinny long legs sticking out, leaning slightly forward like I know what I'm going to do next- which is a dad trait. All I needed was to flip my right foot forward like I had nerve damage, and I'd be all set. Well, plus grow a beard.

Dad had to have back surgery when I was in 5th grade, and suffered nerve damage as a result. He had to pick up his right foot and kind of fling it forward rather than take a normal step. Every once and a while I see someone else do this - usually men.

Dad was quite the athlete before this happened. It was HARD for him to take, not like he'd ever complain about it though, or talk about it for that matter. The older he got, the slower he had to walk. When it got close to the end, he'd sit down at the top of the stairs because he needed to take a break. Mom and I would help him up and he was a brick! Like trying to move solid cement. He got a belly when he got older so I thought other parts might have, well, gotten mushy, but they didn't

My dad the brick. I don't think a word of nonsense ever fell from his lips. He said what he meant. True blue.

Friday

I found out my brother is coming home from Iraq today - for good. He's been there for about a year and a half, with a trip home in the middle, but now he'll be stationed in Kansas. I know you can get hurt anywhere, but I figure if you are living where folks don't run around with automatic rifles your chances increase dramatically.

He is in Kuwait at the moment. What a relief. I feel like I had divine assurances that he would be ok, but it is still a relief.

My mom is going to drive to Kansas, where his next station is and where he'll be flying into. My mom is a bit nervous, but she will be fine. I have absolutely no doubt that she can do it. Since dad died she has had to refind her way so her confidence is a little shaky, but she can do it.

no spoken words, just a scream

My playlist is not very multifaceted. If you can't figure it out I enjoy U2. I'm listening to Pride right now. There is something about their music that just pushes you forward. And the pushing you feel isn't into something dark and sinister but hopeful, positive.

I like artists that are going somewhere - have something to say and are passionate about it. Art, music, or literature. It gets the audience to take some kind of position - can't just float along. C.S. Lewis makes a comment in Surprised by Joy, while he is on the road to Christ, like "the Christians are wrong, but the rest are all boring." Can you say the same thing about Christian musicians? What is wrong with this picture?

Have you ever heard U2 do a cover song? They're really not very good at it. I take that to mean - musically they are somewhere around average. Bono is definitely an average singer. But their original stuff just grabs at me. Is it all Brian Eno? You know, he helped out Paul Simon but it didn't have the same effect- not that I don't like Paul Simon. It sounded more atmospheric and landscapey, but it was Paul Simon's soul, not U2's.

So it isn't their musicality or their, what, producer? It's gotta be their heart. You can't pretend, or imitate that. Bono's a big personality, but I don't think it's all him. Who they are just comes across in their music. Is it Jesus in them that makes them able to give me hope, desire, want to push forward myself? Lord, may I be such a person.

Check out The Way I Am by Jennifer Knapp

Monarch of the Glen

Monarch of the Glen is on the Tv - we get the dvds from the Library. It's about a clan family in Scotland working to keep their land and traditions intact. It's great - it's worth it just to see the scenery.

Pretty much everything I watch now is from dvds. Not much on TV appeals to me. When you think of shows like MASH, the Cosby Show, Family Ties, Magnum PI, can you think of anything on now that compares?

One upside is that I watch PBS a lot more. I've learned about Einstein, fractal antennas, am a lot more familiar with Charles Dickens than I've ever been. We don't have cable. I lived a couple of years without TV and wouldn't mind repeating the experience. With the internet I wonder if it would even phase me.

feeling not so groovy

Ok I'll admit it I had a crappy day.

Why you ask? Probably from feeling sorry for myself. It could be directly related to the fact that I have a paper due monday and I'm not sure what I'm doing. Not a big deal, right? Just gotta do it...

It is 80 degrees here - too hot! A good weekend to spend in the library, right? Who wants sunshine anyway - it gives you cancer!

I have got to work on that paper tonight - hopefully I can make significant progress and I can sleep well.

New Post! must keep writing-

Class #4 come and gone. We talked about Paul and the New Perspective last week, and I am trying to work it out in my own understanding, as I think they are on to something. Basically it says Paul's cultural background was not the same as Luther's, Luther read too much of his own life and experience into what Paul was saying. Paul did not feel the pressure to please God that Luther did - he was successful in keeping Torah. But the righteousness that comes through Christ is real, and offers a relationship with God that was unavailable through the rabbinical laws. Culturally this takes pressure off of the Jews, all of the implications of which I can't recall.

Last week we continued with Galatians. I'm trying to get the exegetical method down so it is more of a natural process, but so far it hasn't happened. Should spend a lot more time in the Bible - it is all reworking in me.

Had first lawn mow of the season. We are a bit anxious since we lost our yard worker. Spring is a good time to work the lawn but all free time is taken up with this class. I am feeling the need to be f -o -c -u -s -e -d. Have my priorities, narrow down my interests, and not be distracted by what isn't important.

Anyway, back to the lawn. When I lived in Europe, even the forests seemed well maintained. They have had so many centuries of civilization to beat back nature into a well-behaved status. Actually their society is beat back in much of the same way, much to my mild chagrin. In Europe, or Belgium, if you stood out it wasn't good. I enjoy unique people and being unique from time to time. It's not like they are afraid to speak their mind - they are not. But your behavior is expected to fall within the norm. I guess that's how their society survives - not only looking but being neat and orderly.

Like I should talk. As I get older I discovered I was raised to have certain manners and expectations that are more European than American. And more power to me, so I think. I don't appreciate the general American disregard for putting oneself first, by disregarding the feelings or interests of those around you in public or in a group.

But back to the lawn. So in our backyard here in America we continually have to beat nature back, just in our 2 measly acres. It definitely has a mind and plan that does not concur with ours.

That's all for today.

Ruby Tuesday

Which is where I went to dinner. It was good.

Yard work season is upon us. The lawn is only growing in patches, but some of those patches are big and long. I live on 4 acres, with two of them getting mowed, so our yard is time consuming. Nature is always encroaching on our groomed space. Spent the last two weekends picking up sticks- hopefully this task will just need maintained in the future.

ms. jackson if you're nasty

class #3 was tonight. I'm changing my mind about my class. it is great! Once again my biblical perspective is changing- or perhaps being nuanced.

I got in a small discussion with these young guys about recent movies. You know, some Christians make a big fuss about drinking, some smoking, but what I don't get is christians watching totally inappropriate material. The movies these guys were talking about were nothing but nasty. I nodded politely, but I think they picked up on my general distaste although I tried not to act like it.

end of the day

Maunday Thursday and the work week is almost over.

I had my last mole taken off on Tuesday. This past fall a spot on my arm turned out to be malignant melanoma. I found out it's the worst kind of skin cancer. Fortunately I caught it super early and the melanoma itself turned out to be almost a non-event... but a shadow on my chest xray led to a CT scan which led to an ultrasound of my thyroid, all of which proved I'm in good health. I wonder if they'd done all that if I didn't have health insurance.

So, then came a dermatologist visit and that led to having 4 moles removed. So far 2 were precancerous. In case you're wondering, it was a red spot with a white circle around it on my upper right arm, unlike the moles that were removed, which just didn't have defined edges and were various shades of brown.

That's enough of that - get your moles checked out and wear sunblock!

funeral

I took the day off of work today to go to a funeral. A friend from church who was helping us out with our substantial yard was diagnosed with cancer not too many months ago. It had progressed too far. He started helping us out shortly after Dad died, so it was nice to have an older gentleman around where Dad used to be.

He smoked and had a problem with alcoholism. It made him feel really guilty concerning his relationship with God. He was unable to "find the key" that would lead him to freedom, as Jack Hayford would put it. Hey, it happens. We went and saw him a couple of days before he died. The first words out of his mouth when we saw him were "Precious Jesus." I was a little surprised. He wasn't struggling with his relationship anymore, just enjoying it. This impressed on me two things: Jesus didn't have a problem with him no matter what he himself believed, and that when push comes to shove you want the real thing, ie Jesus. The latter is true in my life - don't give me programs, or platitudes, I want the truth, reality, which seems to be all summed up in Jesus.

He and my dad are probably enjoying themselves at the moment, while we're here putting up with snow in April.

Palm Sunday

"All glory laud and honor to you Redeemer King" Palm Sunday, and I am grateful for the triumphal entry of the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart. Come Lord Jesus! Set up your rule and reign. Come with your power, authority, humbleness, your designs and plans, your love. Your kingdom come and your will be done. Come Holy Spirit - lead on! Father, watch out, here I come!

Ta da! Music!

Last night was the first night of New Testatment II. These kind of classes hold a certain amount of interest for me but I'm not riveted. I understand the importance of proper interpretation, but it's like learning grammar to me, ummmm, something I just want to skip over.

Well, now it is a Phil Keaggy/u2/paul simon tribute, with one Pretenders song. All I have to do now is figure out how to get the playlist to the blog.

I also own an MP3 player, which my brother tells me is like owning a flash drive. I'm almost techno-hip. All I need is a cell phone. I do not want a cell phone. But now it is difficult to find a pay phone when you need one. Store clerks have been really helpful, but you never know.

three months later...

Oooo, I am now the proud owner of a notebook! So here I sit in my room! typing! who knows, maybe now I'll have to join facebook.

I'm working on the playlist - so far it's a tribute to Phil Keaggy and U2 - my music is totally for me. Mostly u2 listening to them is like finding a piece of me that's been missing - seems like a big hunk of myself is wrapped up in their music. In college I felt God telling me to dis the music - had to do with my identity being wrapped up in wrong things. So, I haven't seriously listened to u2 for years, but I'm enjoying it. Love the old stuff - wonder if Larry Mullen misses the old days, seems like he used to really rock out back then.

Get your boots on - I like more punk, less techno.